I was going for the Joy thing. I spoke about choosing sensation and Joy and sustaining and tweaking and all that. It was a decent intro. I reviewed the DVD before class. I really took my time going over a few sequences that I always get stuck on. I believed I was in a great place for delivering the Promise of Joy and Nia. Well….. I sucked. I sucked out loud. I was off my music cues, I was cueing stuff that wasn’t supposed to happen, I stopped one song – tempted to start it over and I just flubbed the whole thing. I am sure that no one else in the room could have possibly been experiencing Joy since the whole thing was incredibly hard to follow and fast and steppy and all the rest. If there was any joy it was when I said step out. What to do about this? I am looking for the lesson. I wonder if there is any gift, small or large to be gleaned from that experience. I suppose I could chalk the determination to be “In Joy” in spite of difficulty and discomfort could be a joy enhancing nugget to take away from this, but somehow I think that is pushing it. I didn’t feel any joy. The routing hurts me. It is complex. The music is great, but matching to the steps to the fractioned music make a mess of my leadership ability. There is a lot of cross back and front cha, cha, chas and that really hurts my foot. I have not (in a year) found decent ownership of this routine and it’s possibilities and I think I will provide myself with some joy by taking it off my play list for a while.
So, taking something off my list is a possibility. I did review the routine, but most of my focus has been on R1. I was really indulging in doing that routine over and over. I love it. When I learned Aya, I did the same, but I don’t remember being in love with the steps. I love the music, but not the steps. Most routines, I can pick up or leave whenever I want once I’ve embodied the steps. It comes out MY way, but it’s like re-reading my favorite books. Ease.